Features

Estonia - Alternative Tallinn and a full Soviet experience

by Andrew Young

So where do I start with Tallinn? Well, let me say from the start that there is a range of mainstream tourist sites to literally send you into meltdown if you're into that sort if thing - Russian Orthodox and Lutheran cathedrals, ancient City Walls and towers, and so on ad infinitum. But, if that's your thing, stop reading now and go to www.tourism.tallinn.ee/eng - you'll find everything you need there.

For, as we well know, that's not really my thing at all - cue the Alternative Tallinn Tour guides - a group of young, vibrant (mainly) students who offer a range of "alternative" tours for those explorers with more skewed requirements!

The top daytime tour is the Funky Bike Tour, in my case led by the clinically crazy Kaur (pronounced "Ka-oo-er"). There is very little "history", and no churches. Rather, the path leads you through one of Tallinn's most run-down residential areas where Russian gangs park their pimped-out Beemers outside houses that should be condemned, to the Patarei Prison, where until 2001 there were still inmates in the most ghastly conditions imaginable. This is a dank, dark, miserable, ghostly place, where the hanging room, cells, operating theater (pictured) and kitchens, with their peeling paint, no lights, and wet floors will honestly make your skin crawl. Juxtaposed with the decay, some art displays, and random jokes on strips of paper adorn some of the walls.

From here you glide past Tallinn's 5th ugliest building, hear stories of secret medieval tunnels, of severed legs and legless bodies, and you take a trip past the ex-KGB headquarters (there is a great story about a Moose here) - all of which rounds off a brilliant, truly human experience.

And the great humour, banter and desire to make you feel part of this group of Estonians continues...my advice is to go on a Pub Crawl with them in the evening as well. No matter which of the them takes the tour - if it's Virve watch out, she can drink most large men under the table - you will have a great time meeting other travellers and local Estonians. You even get to sample a truly horrid but must-try Jellyfish shot, enough said on that!

And if you're especially lucky, Tallinn's very own Paris Hilton look-alike (although much prettier and way more intelligent!) may join the group. Don't mention the Paris thing though, she may well knock you out! She will also be able to take you on a funnier, more traditional daytime walking tour of Tallinn – she doesn’t “do” bikes!

If like me, you're obsessed with “functional” architecture, go and take a look at the terraced yachting centre in Pirita and the Linnahall near the port, which housed an ice-rink and a concert hall. More recent Estonian/Soviet history still hangs in the air at the Song Festival grounds in Kadriorg, and, for a real blast from the Kruschev past, take the ferry to Naissaar island (get the boat Monica from Admiraliteedi Bassein - runs at 12:00 most days, returning at 3,7 and 10:30 pm). The island is honestly weird, but does offer the chance to see ex-Soviet military barracks, and old secret Soviet mine stash. The island walks also make a good escape from the hustle and bustle of Tallinn.

Don't miss the very good Museum of Occupation as well - it's sometimes easy to forget that Estonia has only been free for 18 years, but video archive footage here brings it all back into perspective.

Overall, I have to say that Tallinn is in my top two greatest cities - you need to look past the stag-party reputation, get away from all the touristy bits and get talking to Estonians - it'll change your life!

See a different Tallinn: Alternative Tallinn Tours www.traveller.ee/Home.html

Stay: Old House Hostel or Hotel, or get one of their apartments - unbelievable accommodation in the Old Town for ridiculously good prices, around £60 for two people per night! www.oldhouse.ee/eng_index.php

Don't miss: Lunchtime pancakes at Kompressor - trust me! 3 Rataskaevu, Old Town (pictured).